Before You Say "I Do"... The Relationship Pressures During Wedding Planning

It's the logical next step for most people in a loving relationship. When you are with someone you love, and you want to solidify that relationship, wedding bells are usually the next port of call for any happy couple. As a result, this means lots of planning and preparation for the big day. But, it transpires there are so many couples that don't make it past the planning stage. In fact, they don't even make it to the big day! This highlights the pressures lots of couples have when it comes to preparing the happiest day of their lives. So, if you are someone who is looking to plan the big day, or you are discussing marriage with your significant other, are there any relationship pressures you need to prepare yourself for?


One Person Feels They're Doing More Than The Other

Everybody in a relationship can feel like they're doing more than the other person from time to time, and when you're planning for a big day, the concern that one is doing more than the other is going to rear its ugly head. The fact of the matter is that this is something that you should discuss right off the bat. Before you start any planning, it might be best to do some organization. Because even if one person feels like they're doing more than the other, the other person might feel that they should back off to allow the other person to have a better handle on things. But this just belies a lack of communication. Instead, why don't you sit down, discuss everything beforehand, and learn from the mistakes other couples have made before?


The Parents Want To Take Over

Not to use the word interfering, but there are always going to be external influences on the planning and preparation of the big day. It's something that's been discussed a million times before, but if one set of parents are putting a lot of money into the big day, it can feel like there's a lot of people trying to put their stamp on your big day. If you are struggling financially, this help is always greatly appreciated, but surely there's got to be a limit? Yes, it's your big day, and as much as you appreciate your parents, or your partner's parents putting in a lot of money, you should feel like it's your day and not your parents’. This is a very difficult subject to navigate, and ultimately it depends on the temperament of the parents. However, if you find that you've got parents who want to take over the operation, you need to involve them with parts of the planning. When it comes to involving them in with specific parts, what aspects can you let slide? It's unfair to keep them out of the whole equation, so by including them in the planning, it should keep everyone happy.


You Both Have Different Ideas

A difference of opinion is going to happen, so you may as well prepare yourself for it! You might have different thoughts about decorations, the venue, or even the wedding invitations. It is par for the course, and so if you find yourself clashing on every part of the planning it's time to sit down and break down the duties into something a bit more manageable. If you both have different ideas, use this as a springboard towards the act of compromise. What you can both do is sit down and research your ideas of styles and themes together. Because a lot of the time, couples bang heads because they seldom discuss the idea, rather than sit down and go through something with a fine tooth comb, the approach where you both go over everything and discuss the finer points means you are debating every aspect considerately, and with the other person's feelings at the forefront. If a friend recommended a specific wedding invitation supplier, like Paper Themes wedding invitations, why don't you both sit down and look at the website to see if there are things you can both agree on? Unfortunately, disagreeing with every aspect of the wedding can take up a lot of time, so it's important for you both to let some things go. Maybe you want to split the duties 50/50 or put aside a lot of time to plan everything down to the smallest detail. If your wedding is 6 months away, that leaves you with a very tight timescale, however, if you've got two years, you might think you've got all the time in the world. In fact, it's much better to start planning everything now. Especially if you're both used to clashing on different ideas.


The Stress And Anxiety You Both Feel

And with the pressures you are both feeling, you're naturally going to lash out at each other. Unfortunately, this is the point where couples might decide that enough is enough and break off the engagement. Almost half of engaged couples feel that wedding planning affects their relationship. But if you're feeling so stressed that you're questioning the relationship, it's time to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. It's no one's place to question the validity of your relationship apart from you and your partner, but if you're feeling so stressed and anxious that you're wondering if it's worth it, take a break! The planning process can feel full on, because there are literally hundreds of things, little and large, to do. Instead, take a full day off with your partner, and not talk about the wedding at all. It's at this point you need to regain a sense of perspective, and think about why you're doing all this in the first place.

It's going to happen, you will have disagreements about things you didn't think you cared about before, such as table mats, but when you are deep in the midst of wedding planning, and you're feeling the pressures, you need to step back, take a breath and remember this happens to every couple. The wedding day will fly by, and it will all be a memory. And you won't even remember the stress of the wedding planning in a couple of years’ time!


Jessica Mitton


Jessica Mitton is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist and Culinary Nutrition Expert. She believes in a holistic approach, taking into consideration the body, mind and spirit. She is fascinated by the healing potential of food and how it can contribute to an individual’s overall health. A passionate creative force in the kitchen, Jessica is continually working to develop her own highly nutritious and equally delicious recipes, made from whole, organic and locally sourced ingredients. Most of all, she enjoys the opportunity to share her passion and knowledge with others, helping them to become their healthiest possible self!